I went through a deconversion process where I began questioning everything I'd been led and led myself to believe by studying the Bible. I didn't want to stop believing, or want to live in sin,or anything like that. I wasn't mad at the church, or church people or anything like that either.Was there anything else you went through that made you deconvert? That is, if you don't mind me asking?
I was debating atheists trying to get them to realize the truth of Christianity and at the same time realizing it wasn't true. I thought there was plenty of evidence, but I was wrong. The Dan Barker Easter Challenge was one of the places I started, but I wanted to prove it wrong. I had read enough Rene D' Cartes to know that I wanted to stop believing things just because, that I needed evidence for anything I would believe, let alone base my life upon. So I realized that even D'Cartes assumed God in the beginning, and that was dishonest. So I challenged every believe and actually looked at all the evidence.
Now, this took years because doubt is considered sin by Christians, and every challenge was therefore sinning, and hard for me to do. Every time I started going down the road, I'd go back to church and re-enforce the beliefs I'd been taught and repent of my doubts. Eventually though, I realized that the evidence just didn't back up Christianity, and that the Bible not only contradicted itself in smallish areas that didn't amount to much, but the resurrection story was a mess of contradictions and myth. At the end I prayed that God would show me the errors of what I had been studying.
He didn't because quite frankly he either doesn't exist or is a deist type god that doesn't care or isn't involved in any parts of our lives.