Masturbation Will Make You Gay, Warns Leaked Mormon Church Document

[Jackrabbit]

Masturbation Will Make You Gay, Warns Leaked Mormon Church Document

Uh, as someone who still does it regularly at age 68, I can guarantee you it does not. The porn I peruse is still of females.

The Mormon church hates self-love.

Masturbation should be strictly banned because it can turn young people into homosexuals and criminals, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believes, according to a leaked guidebook issued to members.

The 1981 guidebook, released this week by the transparency group MormonLeaks, provides some insights into what many young Mormons have been taught about sexual development and homosexuality over the years.

As if those sanctimonious dipshits have a clue about either.

Besides, everybody knows that jerking off makes you blind, not gay.

[Michel]

[quote=""Jackrabbit""]Uh, as someone who still does it regularly at age 68, I can guarantee you it does not. The porn I peruse is still of females.
[/quote]

... and I still do it at age 69, my friend! Well, sometimes alone and sometimes with my wife. Intercourse has become difficult for me and painful for her so, it's all a hand job!

When I was 12, my younger brother told my mother that I was "playing with my penis." She asked a Catholic priest and a doctor for advice and I was told to sleep with my hands over the bedsheets. Masturbation was a deadly sin and since we had to go to confession every Friday, I tried to do it only on Thursday to minimize the risks.
Then, one day, the priest asked me if I was doing it alone or with a friend, and to show him how I did it. I never told my parents about this event but that is the day that changed my life. My father was an army officer and I had great respect for the authority; the King, the government, police, church ... and everything felt down that day.

Soon after I became an atheist hippie ... which I am, still.

Incidentally, today I know that regular masturbation at a young age, helps to prevent prostate cancer. I had mine checked a year ago and the doctor said that mine was still tiny ... my prostate, of course, not my penis!

[Jackrabbit]

Sounds like masturbation doesn't make you gay, priests do. Or at least try to. As much as I despise the biblebangin' church I grew up in, nobody ever pulled that shit. Not that I heard of, anyway. But then preachers could have wives.

A woman friend was telling me that she was terrified of the basement of the catholic church when she was a kid, because of what went on there. That priest actually liked girls. Go figure. In any case, that celibacy shit really fucks them up.

I'm envious of the small prostate. Mine has been enlarged for around eight years, but it's mostly been kept under control. Taking a whiz is difficult at times, but I try to drink a lot of water to keep the pressure up. I take two different medicines for the condition. The urologist says that the finasteride won't allow a complete blockage, so I shouldn't have to worry about that. No indications of prostrate cancer, so it's just an annoyance, not a real problem.

Prostate contributed to the end of my dad's functional life. After hernia surgery his prostate swelled up and he couldn't piss at all. So he had another operation for that. The stress of having two surgeries in the same day made his Alzheimer's kick in full force and he was never able to be left alone after that. His mind died that day, seven years before his body followed.

[Here Rests A Cemetery]

It's a good thing I rarely ever masturbate, eh? Crikey.

These guys probably wank all the dang time.

[Jackrabbit]

Might as well. I get called a wanker whether I do it or not.

[BWE]

Pretty sure they're wrong on this one. Although I suppose if I was drunk...

[espritch]

Someone once said "95% of men masturbate. The other 5% are liars."

If masturbation makes you gay, I guess there are a lot of gay Mormons.